i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
