Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
