Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Actions speak louder than pants.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
