I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
