glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
