I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
