I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
