I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
