And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
