More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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