FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Randomize
