Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
How's work?
Spinning.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
