Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
When are your genitals available?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
