i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
