Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
This can only be settled by a dance off.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
