he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
