She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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