He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
