weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
