just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
