so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Life is so much better after having sex.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
As shirtless as possible
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I have so many feelings about this burrito
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
