Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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