While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
