Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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