So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
you never un-have a 4some
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
