The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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