sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
