i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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