I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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