What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
