Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
