four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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