Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
