We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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