Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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