I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
