I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
