It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Randomize
