My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
