Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
