Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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