walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
