Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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