Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i came on her dog
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
