just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
