I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
