I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
