dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
