Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
