I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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